22 Dogs That Have Their Shit Way More Together Than You Do

22 Dogs That Have Their Shit Way More Together Than You Do

1. This dog is eating a delicious meal...

 While your blood is 87% chicken tender.

2. This dog just got a dang degree...

 While the only grade you have received is the second-degree burn from the time you tried it, you have a bit of excessive zeal for biting that Hot Pocket.

3. This dog is a fine work of art...

 While you're basically walking, talking modern art.

4. This dog is a fashion icon...

 While you haven't washed your jeans in... three months?

5. This dog has found the love of its life...

 While you've found nothing but strife.

6. This dog is truly seeing the sights...

 While the last sight you've seen is the "ARE YOU STILL THERE?" Netflix notification.

7. This dog is exploring new heights...

 While the last thing he explored was the bottom of that bag of fast food, trying to find the last chicken tender.

8. This dog has perfect, beautiful hair...

 Although your hair can best be described as "dog-like, but not like a very nice dog like the one above, I'm talking dirty as hell."

9. This dog has a wide assortment of fancy clothing...

 While the most luxurious garment he has is that which does not have a chicken stain.

10. This dog is partying hard and living its best life...

 While his last party can best be described as "the time you found an old Raisinette in a hooded sweatshirt that you were wearing".

11. This dog is getting eight hours a sleep a night...

 While the last time you got eight hours of sleep was in the womb.

12. This dog is expanding its mind and discovering its inner self...

While your inner self is, again, 87% chicken tender.

13. This dog is incredibly thoughtful...

 While the idea of making eye contact with the postman terrifies you.

14. This dog is practicing great self-care and taking a nap...

 While the idea of making eye contact with the postman terrifies you.

15. This dog provides a very useful and compelling service...

 While the only service it provides can best be described as "Ancestry.com of chicken tenders".

16. This dog is a role model for all children...

While the only service offered can best be described as "Ancestry.com of chicken tenders".

17. This dog gets to the bottom of things...

 While the only thing you've gotten to the bottom of is a bag of habanero Cheez-Itz, which don't even exist.

18. This dog is a successful part of the work force...

 While the only force you have used is the immense force with which you broke that alarm button on your alarm clock this morning.

19. This dog is enjoying the great outdoors...

 While you enjoy the great smell of your food that your roommate left in the fridge three months ago.

20. This dog is looking so cool:

 While the last time someone called you great was actually last week, when your grandmother accidentally called you instead of your brother much colder.

21. This dog is dressed to kill:

 While you are dressed in a way that can be best described as "unfortunate".

22. And, finally, this dog is a G.D. cup:

While you've never even BEEN in a cup. ONCE! ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!

France to release bears in Pyrenees for first time in a decade to mate with lonesome males

France to release bears in Pyrenees for first time in a decade to mate with lonesome males

 France is to release two female bears into the Pyrenees, the first in a decade, placing the government on a collision course with farmers who complain that the beasts pose a threat to their livestock.

Sheep readers have previously taken the law into their own hands, targeting the bears with various traps, including one containing honey laced with glass.

Nicolas Hulot, President Emmanuel Macron’s star environment minister and a former wildlife TV presenter, said he was prepared to face farmers’ wrath otherwise the population could die out as only two lonesome males - father and son - are left in the area.

“I don’t want to be the minister who stood by while this line (of bears) died out,” Mr Hulot told Le Parisien, adding that wanted the animals to be reintroduced this autumn.

Mr Hulot said: “I decided to go on the offensive because there are only two males left in (the Pyrénées-occidentals) département, including Cannellito, son of Cornell”, the last surviving indigenous Pyrenean female illegally killed by a hunter in 2004.

France will consult with several European countries before picking the females.

Bears were re-introduced from Slovenia in the 1990s after hunters all but wiped out France’s native population.

The last time was in 2006 when five were fired near the Spanish border, but the lovelorn males, Canelli to and Néré, are the only ones left in the western Pyrenees.

Another 37 have been counted in the central section of the mountain range along the Spanish border. But conservationists say the two isolated males are unlikely to reach the group and would have to fight dominant males before being able to mate with the females.

The reintroduction of the creatures, which can weigh 250kg (almost 40 stone) and stand two meters tall on their hind legs, has been a divisive and an impassioned issue for more than 20 years.

Farmers’ ire reached such levels last year that they allegedly fired warning shots over the heads of government experts sent to assess how many sheep the predators had killed.

The quarrel mirrors a similar dispute over wolves, which have returned to France from Italy after being hunted to extinction by the early 20th century.

A poll this week showed that 84 percent of the French favor the bears, although they were blamed for the deaths of about 450 sheep who tumbled off cliffs while being chased by bears last summer.

One local group issued a video in September showing about 30 masked men brandishing rifles and threatening to hunt bears in defiance of the law.

Mr Hulot said: “I know it’s a sensitive subject but I want to work with (the farmers)… I understand their fears.”

He added: “We can’t preach to countries with big emblematic wild animals threatened with extinction if we falter in protecting species under threat in France.”

The minister called for dialogue resulting in better protection for bears and livestock.

Pascal Canffin, head of WWF France, hailed the announcement, which he said had been “awaited for several years” and was “coherent both in view of his recent calls to save biodiversity and the will of the French people.”